Cutthroat Island wants very badly to be a rip-roaring, crowd-pleasing adventure, and it almost succeeds. There's plenty of swashbuckling and daring-do, and lots of big, loud, explosions. Though at times the sword-play looks overly choreographed and the stunt sequences look like they're being done on a Disney World set before a live audience, next show in an hour.
Then there are the stars. Matthew Modine does his best impersonation of Westley from The Princess Bride, and it's not a very good one. Frank Langella spends all of his camera time gnawing voraciously on the scenery. And if the idea of Geena Davis as a beautiful, strong pirate captain sounds ludicrous, the sight of it is even more so. Her swordplay and stunt work are decent enough, but she lacks any real gravitas. She is neither commanding nor inspiring, and to be honest, she looks a bit odd at times here.
That is not to say that the movie is all bad. There is some beautiful scenery, and some of the action sequences were good. There are also a few amusing one-liners. "Since you lie and are shallow, I shall lie you in a shallow grave," says the captain at one point. "Chuckle, chuckle," says I in response, that was nicely cheesy. Oh yes, and monkeys are always fun. So if you're into sea-faring adventures you could do worse than this. It'll pass two hours of your time pleasantly enough, and then it will slip almost immediately out of your mind.
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